Humour Seriously - A Reflection Essay

This reflection, sparked by David Brooks’ How to Know a Person and a deeper dive into the science of humor, chronicles an internal mid-life exploration—a quest to foster genuine connection and navigate the shifting seasons of life. It reveals a profound realization: the critical, often underestimated, power of humor.

The Intellectual Depth of Comedy

Comedians, as it turns out, are more than just entertainers; they are astute observers of the human condition. They possess a unique intellectual sharpness, capable of dissecting and articulating the inherent absurdities and oddities of everyday life—a talent perfectly embodied by the observational genius of Seinfeld. Their ability to communicate deep, sometimes uncomfortable truths in a relatable manner is a sign of high social and intellectual intelligence.

Levity and Gravity: The Essential Balance

The journey highlighted the crucial contrast between Levity and Gravity.

• Levity (from the Latin levitas, “lightness”): Refers to a lightness in mood, tone, or behavior, expressed through humor, playfulness, and a deliberate lack of excessive seriousness. It is the necessary antidote to the constant pressures of adult life.
• Gravity (from the Latin gravitas, “heaviness”): Encompasses seriousness, solemnity, and physical weight.

In an era defined by demanding work schedules and constant professional pressure, the authors argues that we are often overburdened by Gravity. Understanding and actively seeking Levity is therefore not a frivolous pursuit, but a vital mechanism for psychological health and relational well-being.

Mapping Your Humor Style

The book presented a framework for understanding one’s dominant humor style, categorized by the dimensions of Aggressive vs. Affiliative and Subtle vs. Expressive:

I personally identifies with The Sweetheart—motivated by a deep-seated fear of causing offense—and looks to The Stand-up with admiration. Trevor Noah’s 2022 White House Correspondents’ Dinner is cited as a masterclass in this style: navigating a politically diverse and tense audience, successfully delivering sharp jabs while simultaneously defending the American press and the 1st Amendment—a rare blend of high-stakes comedy and serious civic commentary.

The Profound Benefits of Laughter

Humor is a tool of immense power, capable of elevating one’s perceived intelligence and earning respect. Its utility extends even into tragedy, acting as a crucial mechanism for collective processing and moving forward.

The physiological effects of laughter are akin to a naturally administered “drug cocktail,” releasing vital neurochemicals:

• Endorphins: Natural pain relievers and mood elevators.
• Dopamine: Associated with pleasure, reward, and motivation.
• Serotonin: Regulator of mood, sleep, and appetite.
• Oxytocin: The “bonding hormone,” which promotes trust and connection.

This chemical release actively counteracts stress by reducing the levels of stress hormones like Cortisol and Epinephrine.

Deconstructing the Mechanics of Humor

Humor is an art form rooted in specific, measurable components:

• Timing: The precise moment of delivery.
• Distance: The necessary space—temporal (from a tragic event), geographical, or emotional—required to find comedy in a situation.
• Surprise (Incongruity): The unexpected twist or deviation from a listener’s expectation.

The Onion’s first publication after 9/11 serves as a classic example of using humor—specifically absurdity and incongruity—to process the unimaginable. By creating headlines like “HUGGING UP 76,000 PERCENT” or “NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO DO, WOMAN BAKES AMERICAN-FLAG CAKE”, they provided “comic relief when I desperately needed it to help me process something unimaginable,” turning collective shock into a small, shared step toward healing. As the famous saying goes, there is a thin margin between tragedy and comedy.

The Adult Dip in Joy and the Power of Re-framing

The observation from Inside Out 2—”I guess that’s what happens when you grow up; you feel less joy.”—highlights a natural dip in the capacity for laughter and joy that occurs after adolescence and persists through the long “middle years” (30s to 60s), only to rise again in later life. Adult responsibilities and “adulting” create a gravitational pull away from Levity.

However, humor offers a vital escape hatch: it allows us to find hidden truths in life, especially when reflecting on past hurts and trauma. By applying a touch of humor and Levity, old stories can be re-framed and viewed in a new, less painful light.

Humor in Power, Leadership, and Communication

Humor is a powerful tool in social and professional dynamics:

• Minimizing Power Distance: A light joke from an executive or CEO in an elevator can instantly reduce the perceived hierarchy, creating a more relaxed and connected environment for co-workers. (Caveat: Excessive self-deprecation, however, can project insecurity.)
• Delivering Hard Conversations: Humor can be used to send a provocative yet non-threatening message. An anecdote details a female boss who, finding her male co-workers unconsciously excluding her by continuing work conversations in the men’s room, joked about joining them. This lighthearted line sent a clear, powerful message of “I see you; please stop,” without escalating into a confrontation.

Cultivating a Culture of Levity

The essay explores inspiring, if extreme, examples of institutionalizing Levity to create psychological safety—a condition where people feel comfortable being themselves and taking creative risks.

• Hiroki Asai (Apple): Believed “fear is the greatest killer of creativity.” He planned elaborate, surprise-filled events designed purely for laughs, using humor as a way to boost energy and create shared joy:
  • The Blue Man Group: Employees dressed up to surprise an audience.
  • The “Chase” Scenes: Gag videos featuring high-speed pursuits of Asai himself.
  • The Gospel Choir: The most successful example, where a dry presentation was transformed into a high-energy moment of joy by revealing a full gospel choir, centered around a “Hidden Gem” (a junior designer who was a trained singer).
• Eric Schmidt (Sun Microsystems): Early in his career, he staged an elaborate prank by disassembling and reassembling a Volkswagen Beetle inside the office. This signaled that the company was a place that empowered people to be themselves and have fun within appropriate boundaries.

A Call to Action for Digital Citizenship

These work environments offer a blueprint for life, especially as modern existence increasingly shifts into the digital world. The final reflection is a personal call to action: to deliberately exercise the muscle of humor, to apply Levity to daily life and digital interactions, and to actively uplift the people around us. The world, burdened by Gravity, desperately needs it.

The journey concludes with the ultimate personal commitment: seeking an improv comedy class—a challenge to overcome the “Sweetheart’s” fear of the spontaneous and potentially offensive, and a commitment to prioritizing shared laughter, even if it means commuting to a club instead of maximizing family time, as the author muses, “what’s more important than taking care of the family, then commute to a comedy club and learn improve with complete strangers?”